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Captain Bastard

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(no subject) [Aug. 25th, 2011|11:26 pm]
Captain Bastard
why has it made me smile?


There is a small white square of semi-translucent plastic
on the small pine corner shelf in the upstairs toilet
with the small pine wood statue of a pair of dolphins
one of which's dorsal fin has broken off.
It has been there a while, the small plastic square,
and the thing it came from is broken, presumably.
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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2011|10:21 pm]
Captain Bastard
needs to find a woman that doesn't need to impose a narrative.

needs to accept his own need for structure.

wants. needs to realise wants.

and a nice healthy trip.



(pretentious to the point of structural deficiency)
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Before Taking a Dump in the British Library [Apr. 10th, 2011|09:20 pm]
Captain Bastard
and so he sits in a half gloom'd room in the British library,
with the tourists, surrounded
by dusty – no, not dusty
but old and old things ought to collect dust,
it is a trope – texts,
famed or important or certainly
said to be at least.
and What do any of them mean?
and What does he want with them?
He wants you. He loves words
not books, and there was an earlier train he might have caught.

but if this is his attitude to individual books
then what of his desire for the specific female?
Perhaps you are only recent to him.
Certainly, when drunk, it wouldn't much matter,
but he isn't able to read after drinking, yet.
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focus: [Mar. 29th, 2011|08:49 pm]
Captain Bastard
learn. to. be. fascinated.
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not that there's any point to this [Nov. 28th, 2010|10:43 pm]
Captain Bastard
[tunes |bardo pond]

I probably ought to get out more. Only I do feel terribly terribly poor these days. I have a great distaste for your conventional working hours, I am for ever tired again much of the time but my, my I must write (he tries to say again).

ATP this weekend mind, which I intend to make terrific fun.

Perhaps I am learning my view on the world, what with all this time? I mean perhaps, anyway. And such ludicrous promises I make my yet to be conceived children, such things!

I should do more about the house. I should have enough money to live a little bit. I should find a pretty girl or have her find me and find out what they taste like again. I should do away with women altogether and take up with a man, that would be the thing, that would be exciting. I wont even drink the much of this bottle of rum, there isn't the satisfaction to be had in it perhaps, or perhaps it's winter come on, still; these moments of vivid colours are something. and clarity or very like it.

there would be much to be said for a coherent world picture but I dare call it an indication of an all too narrow mind. break yourself apart a little.

and back to that rum.
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Written Whilst Waiting on the Boiler [Nov. 15th, 2010|12:21 am]
Captain Bastard
He reclines supping wine in the bath,
a delightful light but full-bodied
New World Cabernet Sauvignon, and
awaits some divine/ inspiration?
some scantly clad angel possibly/?
or the power of meditative
brain slowing. Yes! We would see me dumb

and unable to stutter through these
few stragglers proclaiming themselves so
vehemently, but which I cannot
articulate, even too myself.
He leans back to slowly suffocate
in the interplay of light across
chemically almost fragrant foam.
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2010|11:41 pm]
Captain Bastard
pretty, not got a headful

is the world trying to tell me life is a competition?

no, no.

mistake.

live liver

right when he thought he was coming out ok
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(no subject) [Oct. 11th, 2010|01:46 am]
Captain Bastard
apparently i am entirely capable of adolescent im'ing with them

ketamine?

because why not.

thinking of. nay. will be writing a novel in november despite the abbreviation making me cringe. quite a lot.

i sort of need a wee. sort of.

time put into poetry starting to pay off. reading anyway.

reminded of Jam. downloaded. might watch after spilling some words.

might update more often.

if only he had something to say or someone to say it to.

dream well x
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(no subject) [Sep. 14th, 2010|11:58 pm]
Captain Bastard
not sure i can hack living at home

might have to self tutor and fuck the masters

fuck

fuck

fuck.
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(no subject) [Sep. 7th, 2010|11:18 pm]
Captain Bastard
facebook, prolonging infatuations far past their natural life expectancy.

(i swear she only gets more adorable, plus she's a nurse, plus i have had a couple of sympathy kisses, plus she's a christian in the i'm pretty unsure about sex before marriage way, plus, just fuck)


in other news i'm handing in my portfolio friday and then hopefully jetting up to manchester to actually see people and not be a weird hermit.


job job job, waterstones had no suitable positions at this time, arg

anyway, wine, ket, right, write!

x

(also new poem 'another poem for a poetry evening' on ye olde www.myspace.com/theghostsofgermanradio)
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sternberg romantic [Aug. 14th, 2010|12:31 am]
Captain Bastard
how about we get married and i try and soften your accent?



on twitter @TedBonham, not sure i get it
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nasty disease around town [Aug. 7th, 2010|11:18 pm]
Captain Bastard
[Current Location |sutton coldfield]
[level of consciousness |changeable]
[tunes |up the bracket]

yoyo, lonely somewhat, redwine to see me blind, sleep - thats the ticket

how do? see the sky turn from black to blue and the sun does come up i hear, only not a one to spend looking at it, or else one, just all too quick, or all to wrong, or not at all casual enough for me. but birmingham, who the fuck am i going to find in birmingham? still he wants to be a writer, plenty of time to write.

the course is burning travelling expenses, need a job, no doubt, and maybe to take advantage of how much money my parents do earn, otherwise whats the point in them earning so much, surely they're passed the threshold where mo' money stops equaling mo happiness. i, almost certainly, am not. need to get out and get fucked and get fucked. need to find a new plot to write to (and no mistake) enjoyment of building something, the fish thing? new poem for the 18th? I'm speaking, or reading at least in halifax, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps i can astonish. learn your words sonny, shout them loud jim, gin, wine~? fine.

in any case who last saw him alive?
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"If she's a dude, I'm super gay" [Aug. 5th, 2010|11:01 pm]
Captain Bastard
it's easy to feel lonely

i am intensely jealous of about a million people.

I am however writing, good? good.

just, erm, friends, you know?

and i can't escape to london, she feels like manacles.

bring on term time maybe, bring on trip to manchester baby, (or even derby) money money and i'm away, fucking swear it. so how hard should i be looking for a job. Thinking about starting a blog. apparently it's good for my profile to have online presence, and i do want to sell write out and have money for fun life. Still all my thoughts are far to immediate for instant publication no? people might actually realise who i am and i can't be sure but i don't think that's good. we'll see, will we?

peace and pieces of my brain splattered all over

windshield

wind chill

factor.

love x
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